Categories
It Happened to Me Toronto (a.k.a. Accordion City)

Passing the Sniff Test at the CN Tower

One of my favourite bits of dialogue from a “Slappy Squirrel” segment of the old Animaniacs cartoon:

Bumpo (a young dog): Can I sniff you, Uncle Stinky?

Stinkbomb (an old dog): No! Don’t be weird.


It’s been a while since I last visited the CN Tower — it was probably

2001 when I last set foot inside the building. These days, I go only

when showing it to out-of-town family visitors, which we had on Thanksgiving

weekend. Wendy’s parents came up from Boston for a triple-occasion

weekend that covered my nephew Ryan’s christening, her birthday and

Canadian Thanksgiving. We had an extended family party on Sunday;

Monday night was for dinner at the Tower with her parents, my parents

and us.

I was surpised to see a row of three of these devices at the entrance to the hallway leading to elevators:

Photo: Smiths Detection Ionscan Sentinel II security portal.

It’s the Ionscan Sentinel II Contraband Detection Portal, a device manufactured by Smiths Detection. They’re very Star Trek,

from outward appearance right down to the touch panels and female 

female voice. Here’s what the Sentinel II does, according to the

promotional copy on the web site:

Only the SENTINEL offers true head-to-toe screening.  Gentle puffs

of air dislodge any particles trapped on the body, hair, clothing and

shoes.  These particles are then directed into the instrument for

analysis.

IONSCAN®  technology combined with preconcentration technology

developed by Sandia National Laboratories allows for the high

throughput of screening up to 7 people per minute.

Trace amounts of more than 40 substances are detected and identified

in seconds.  Results are displayed in an easy-to-understand fashion. 

Should a detection be made, a digital camera is included to take a

photo of the person for easy identification. 

It detects the following explosives:

  • RDX
  • PETN (a main ingredient of plastic explosives)
  • TNT
  • Semtex (notorious for being difficult to detect due to its “scentlessness”)
  • NG (you probably know this better as nitroglycerin)
  • “and others”

and the following drugs, listed with their stereotypically-associated subcultures:

  • Cocaine (yuppies)
  • Heroin (rock musicians)
  • PCP (freaks and crazies)
  • THC (hipsters, hippies, yuppies, rock musicians)
  • Methamphetamine (bikers, rural working class)
  • Ecstasy (ravers)
  • “and others”

The scanning process is pretty quick. You walk into the portal and

stand on a spot designated by two footprint-shaped markers. A large

number of nozzles that look just like the air nozzles above the seats

in airplanes spray you with a few puffs of air. This process loosens

particulate matter on your clothes and body. This is followed by the

sound of a motor, which I assume powers an air intake pump, which draws

in the loosened particles for analysis. Based on the analysis, you are

then either free to go or quickly dragged off to the body cavity search

room.

The entire scanning process takes less than ten seconds, from entrance

to exit. The promotional copy boasts that it can scan 7 people a

minute, or 420 per hour. Three of these machines gives the CN Tower

checkpoint a total throughput of 1260/hour. This probably would’ve

exceeded the old throughput of the elevators, when there were only four

of them. Back then, you’d occasionally hear of people waiting for about

an hour for an elevator. There are now six elevators; two were added

when they moved to the the stairs to the central core, freeing up room

for more elevator shafts.


All of us save Dad went through the portal. Dad uses a walker, which is

too wide. He was directed to another area to the side of the portals,

where he was chemically analyzed the “old” way — the security guard

rubbed a gauze swab over some of his clothes and his walker and

placed it into a scanner.

Searching people for explosives before they enter a public building

isn’t a new thing. From the World Trade Center’s re-opening in the

mid-nineties until September 11, 2001, it was standard procedure to

undergo search before you could use the elevator, a procedure which

probably added ten minutes to your commute time if you worked there.

They were pretty through when I was last there in 1999; they even asked

me to open my accordion so they could inspect its innards. Terrorism is

partly about being splashy, and blowing up prominent and symbolic

buildings is high on the “splashy” list.

Getting them installed at the CN Tower is also good advertising for

Smiths Detection. It’s a prominent tourist attraction, and having the

Sentinel II prominently displayed at its entrance ensures that people

all from all over the world — or hey, a local blogger — will talk

about them.

In addition to the CN Tower, the Sentinel II has also been installed at “one of Canada’s major nuclear power facilities” (the press release doesn’t get any more specific).

I wonder why you don’t see more of these devices at airports. I suppose it’s still relatively new — JFK installed some late last year

and I’ve heard that they’re also in the Miami airport. I also suppose

that they’re quite expensive, and unlike other expensive airport

amenities, they’re not revenue generators.

(And ‘fess up: when it was time to buy smoke detectors for your apartment or house, did you buy top-of-the-line?)

Addendum:

Also of note: these things only detect explosives and drugs, and drugs,

in spite of what the US Government may tell you, aren’t part of the

terrorist arsenal (the bulk of their money probably comes from your

super unleaded purchases). They

don’t detect guns or knives — remember, the 9/11 terrorists used

boxcutters — and metal detectors can’t detect those newfangled ceramic

blades, such as those Kyocera kitchen knives Rob and Leslie gave to us as wedding presents.

Categories
In the News It Happened to Me

Blogacatmas Makes "The Globe and Mail"

Boss Ross, who coined the name “Blogacatmas“, is even more pleased than I am that it made it into a story in today’s Globe and Mail!

Ross and I both send our thanks to Ivor Tossell for writing the story.

Ross is all giddy; it’s not every day one makes a contribution to

popular culture.

Categories
It Happened to Me

Yom Kippur Tidings

We’re smack dab in the middle of Yom Kippur,

which started last night at sundown and runs until sundown tonight.

It’s the most important holiday of the Jewish calendar, analogous to Easter in the Christian tradition (you might think it’s Christmas, but technically it’s not) or XBox 360 Day

if your religion is videogames. It’s the day of atonement for sins

between yourself and God — you’re supposed to have made up for sins

committed against other people prior to this day.

[Memo to former roomate who still owes me thousands of dollars: hint, hint.]

Another traditional act carried out on Yom Kippur is fasting. In

solidarity with Wendy. who’s not fasting completely, but eating as

little as possible, I’m going to see how little food I can get by with

today. Come sundown, we’re going to “break fast” with High Park’s other

Asian guy/Jewish girl couple, Herb and Jessie and dive into a nice

dinner followed by a tray full of Wendy’s butterscotch brownies.

Since Yom Kippur is technically a sabbath and since I’m showing

solidarity with Wendy, I really should not be working today. Perhaps

I’ll just be completely non-productive today and just BitTorrent some Battlestar Galactica episodes…

[realizes that the boss, CEO and shareholders read the blog]

…er, ah, I mean work like a superstar and maximize shareholder ROI.

Categories
It Happened to Me Toronto (a.k.a. Accordion City)

Happy Blogaversary, Kathy!

We often don’t see eye-to-eye politically and we’ve traded pot-shots

(she called me an egomaniacal dimwit, which is half-right) on our

blogs, but in real life, we get along. Having been a blogger for five

years this past Tuesday, she’s been at it for longer than I have,

during which time she’s become a star in the right-wing blogosphere and

a much-needed irritant to the left. As my most frequent blog sparring

partner, she keeps me entertained, honest and on my toes. She’s Kathy

Shaidle, and her blog is Relapsed Catholic. Congratulations on five years of blogging, Kathy!


Marc “Paved” Weisblott has noted in his 50 Most Toronto blog that:

The

two longtime local bloggers whose names most frequently come up in

conversation about the medium (if hand-waving dialogue with Brett Lamb

is anything to measure things by) are both female: Kathy Shaidle and

Raymi [may not be safe for work — she sometimes posts pin-up shots of herself].

Kathy. Raymi. Several reality show concepts have just formed in my mind!

Categories
It Happened to Me

The Official Photos are Available!

The official photos (taken by Joe Demb) for the best damned wedding ever are now available online. Friends, family, guests and extremely curious strangers can pruchase prints online too!

Photo: Joey and Wendy enter the reception.

Categories
It Happened to Me

We’re in Today’s Toronto Star

More later, but in the meantime, here’s the link to the story (free registration required)!

Categories
It Happened to Me Music

Clark Hall Pub Hitlist

Ashley Bristowe writes up Chris Turner’s Clark Standards Songlist, a compilation of the big hits at Clark Hall Pub, the engineering student-run bar at Crazy Go Nuts University where Turner and I used to DJ. The list covers Ashley’s stay there, 1991 through 1996, which overlaps significantly with mine (1987 – 1994; I DJ’d at Clark from 1989 through 1994). On the list:

  • Jesus Built My Hotrod – Ministry
  • Head Like a Hole – Nine Inch Nails
  • Debaser – Pixies
  • Cannonball – The Breeders
  • Elephant Stone – The Stone Roses
  • There’s No Other Way – Blur
  • Loser – Beck
  • Sabotage – Beastie Boys
  • Jump Around – House of Pain
  • Hobo Humpin’ Slobo Babe – Whale
  • Been Caught Stealing – Jane’s Addiction
  • Big Time Sensuality – Bjork
  • Underwhelmed – Sloan
  • Supersonic – Oasis
  • Basket Case – Green Day
  • Miss World – Hole
  • Homeboy – Adorable
  • Supernaut – 1000 Homo DJs
  • It’s the End of the World as We Know It (and I Feel Fine) – R.E.M.

The list is pretty good, but needs Ween’s Push Th’ Little Daisies, Front 242’s Headhunter 3.0, Rick James’ Super Freak, KMFDM’s Godlike and They Might Be Giants’ Birdhouse in Your Soul for good measure.