Some notes about the screen capture above, which I took from Facebook Marketplace…
Tampa Bay Facebook Marketplace, you never cease to entertain.
Most people tend to list this item as an “exercise pole.” I rather like the seller’s candor.
Hey, the seller’s not too far away from me.
There’s a short story writing prompt in that photo.
For some reason, the short story that I’m building in my mind based on the photo goes like this: “We broke up, she didn’t take the stripper pole I got for her for Christmas, I have no use for it, and it reminds me too much of her. At least I have the dogs to keep me company and my snacks in the fridge to ease the pain.”
That’s a comfy-looking dog bed. The seller loves their dogs.
U.S. Air Force B-57 Canberra bomber. Click to see the source.
I was a big fan of airplanes and aerospace stuff as a kid, so I’m familiar with the B-57, which was made by the Glen L. Martin company, which later got merged in the 1960s into Martin Marietta, and then again in the 1990s into Lockheed Martin.
NASA WB-57 research plane. Click to see the source.
While the B-57 has long since been retired from the Air Force, NASA still have a couple of specialized versions, the WB-57, which they use for high-altitude research.
This is me after too much Taco Bell.
On the very off chance that you’re thinking of buying this seat because you think it might be cooler than using an elevator or stairs…
I’m pretty sure this seat doesn’t come with the rocket engine that actually does the work of ejecting you out of the plane.
This basic physics equation shows how much force is required for an ejection seat to do its thing:
F is for force, the value you want to know.
m is for mass, which for the purposes of this discussion, we’ll say is the same thing as weight (cue the sound of my friend, physics professor Tom Simko, screaming “NOOOOOO!”). You have to account for the mass of whoever’s in the seat and the mass of the seat including the rocket engine and fuel.
a is for acceleration, which is physics-ese for rate of change of speed. Earth gravity, on average, accelerates you towards the center of the planet at a rate of 9.81 meters per second or per second, or to put in terms my American friends will appreciate, that’s about one and a half Ford F-150 lengths per second per second. To eject you, the seat has to accelerate you in the opposite direction of gravity, and at an acceleration greater than gravity — typically 14 to 20 times.
Pilots who have ejected from a plane report that they lost a little height from having their spines compressed from the force. If you had a big meal before ejecting, having your body and the digested food within suddenly weigh 14 to 20 times as much will probably cause you to crap your pants.
So yeah, this seat is best used as memorabilia rather than a cool thing you can demonstrate at your pool parties (“Hey, everybody, who wants to see me land on the roof?”)
Clearly, I missed out by not watching the director’s cut of Jerry Maguire!
But seriously — when films go abroad, especially to Asia and Africa, they’re promoted with hand-painted signage made by people who haven’t seen them, and often are following the most cursory description of the plot and a couple of photos.
The roots of “Show me the money!” are still visible in the translation from film to poster…
…but I have no idea what’s going on with dismembered Rod Tidwell (Cuba Gooding Jr.’s character). I think the machete-wielding guy to Rod’s left is supposed to be Frank Cushman’s dad (played by Beau Bridges), and that his holding Rod’s severed arm, which in turn is holding a grenade, is an action-film allegory for what actually happens in the movie.
Want to see more movie posters like this?Deadly Prey Gallery is an Instagram account that features wild Ghanian interpretations of American films.
