The Adventures of Accordion Guy in the 21st Century

The upcoming “Treehouse of Horror” episode of The Simpsons features this segment listing 50 reasons to NOT vote for Trump, and believe me, there are plenty more, including his profiting off the Secret Service, and having taxpayers cover the $100+ million costs of his 250+ days of golfing.

Here are some stills from the segment:

Because Trump’s base instinct is make things generally worse, his White House issued a Columbus Day proclamation that is just as bad as you’d expect.

An excerpt:

Sadly, in recent years, radical activists have sought to undermine Christopher Columbus’s legacy.  These extremists seek to replace discussion of his vast contributions with talk of failings, his discoveries with atrocities, and his achievements with transgressions.  Rather than learn from our history, this radical ideology and its adherents seek to revise it, deprive it of any splendor, and mark it as inherently sinister.  They seek to squash any dissent from their orthodoxy.  We must not give in to these tactics or consent to such a bleak view of our history.  We must teach future generations about our storied heritage, starting with the protection of monuments to our intrepid heroes like Columbus.  This June, I signed an Executive Order to ensure that any person or group destroying or vandalizing a Federal monument, memorial, or statue is prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.

I have also taken steps to ensure that we preserve our Nation’s history and promote patriotic education.  In July, I signed another Executive Order to build and rebuild monuments to iconic American figures in a National Garden of American Heroes.  In September, I announced the creation of the 1776 Commission, which will encourage our educators to teach our children about the miracle of American history and honor our founding.  In addition, last month I signed an Executive Order to root out the teaching of racially divisive concepts from the Federal workplace, many of which are grounded in the same type of revisionist history that is trying to erase Christopher Columbus from our national heritage.  Together, we must safeguard our history and stop this new wave of iconoclasm by standing against those who spread hate and division.

Call it Indigenous People’s Day instead. Adam “Adam Ruins Everything” Conover explains in a segment titled Christopher Columbus Was a Murderous Moron:

From Vox, here’s a more serious take on why the U.S. celebrates the so-called “Columbus Day”:

College Humor explains “Columbusing”, which is when you “discover” something that’s already been there and isn’t actually new, but you act as if it is:

Instead, just say “Happy Thanksgiving”. After all, today, the second Monday in October, is Thanksgiving in Canada:

For more, see:

• Business Insider: The UK is telling ministers to cozy up to the Biden camp, as Boris Johnson is ‘writing off Trump’ in the upcoming US election
• The Times: Panicking No 10* dumps Donald Trump and woos Joe Biden

For U.S. readers: “No 10” is the colloquial name for 10 Downing Street, the London address for the UK Prime Minister’s office.

You’ve got to hand it to Spirit, the company that specialized in those Halloween costume pop-up stores. They’re pretty good at taking a meme or popular phenomenon and turning it into a mass-producing costume in almost no time at all.

Now it’s Yandy’s turn — they’re the “sexy costume” people — to make the “Sexy Mike Pence” costume, despite the phrase being a contradiction in terms. Remember “Sexy Ken Bone” from the previous election?