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“The only long-term effect of copy protection is to ensure that those who defeat it are immortalized.”

What the past will look like someday is an interesting essay on the true outcome of copy protection that appears in Mark Pilgrim’s blog, diveintomark:

Sonys and Broderbunds of the world, pay attention: the only long-term effect of copy protection is to ensure that those who defeat it are immortalized. Long after my Playstation console falls apart, long after all the original, legitimate, uncopyable Playstation discs have crumbled into dust, long after the no-doubt-teenager who cracked Spyro 3 has grown up and joined polite society and found better things to do with his time, Spyro the Dragon will be remembered. Unfortunately, it will also be associated with that damn ugly crack screen, because no other versions will exist. This is what the past will look like someday. And we’ll just shrug, skip intro, and get on with it.

Point of information: The term “crack screen” may be unfamiliar. In a game that’s been “cracked” — that is, a game that’s had its copy protection mechanism defeated — the people who did the cracking often add an extra screen to the start of the game as their calling card, kind of like the “20th Century Fox” or “Paramount” logo at the start of a movie. That screen is the “crack screen” to which Mark refers.

Thanks to Johnathon Delacour’s blog, which pointed me there. Johnathon also points out that:

…there’s no point wondering why no-one is making the creative leap to find solutions that generate revenue for content producers while recognizing the inevitability of copying. No-one’s making the creative leap because, as Dave Winer points out, (with a few exceptions) the suits resent the talent — and it’s the talent who have a lock on the creativity.

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I could’ve told you that!

According to the Which ’80’s Movie Icon Are You? online test (yeah, I know, online tests are so September 10th, but a firefighter cute guy like me can get away with it, right?), I am:

The Great Man himself!

Not everyone agrees with me about the greatness of Ferris Bueller. My friend Adina hates Mr. Bueller; she says he’s a sociopath. I say he’s a charismatic, skillful negotiator with a rogueish streak. Adina’s idea of a hero must be an accountant who leaves the “8 items or less” line when he realizes he’s got nine items in his cart. You go, girl.

Go on, ‘Dinster, be a tool of the Man. Obey like a good lil’ doggie. I’ll know it’s you who handed my name to the Music Industry Secret Police!

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Sabado, Sabado, Sabado!

Another guy’s take on how the music industry is killing music

One of the best things about the Web is the opportunity for serendipity. You can follow a trail of links, end up someplace you’d never expected to go and find something that you’d never have looked for. Case in point: this essay about the record industry by comic book writer Steven Grant, who wrote this blurb as part of his Permanent Damage column in Comic Book Resources. Check it out (by the way, I added in some “linkatorial”)…

I’m told last year was the worst in decades for the record industry. They’re all wailing and moaning (and trying to figure out how the soundtrack to O BROTHER WHERE ARE THOU became a Grammy-award-winning hit (go, T-Bone!)) and blaming their losses on Internet file trading despite study after study indicating people who swap MP3s are likely to spend more on recorded music, not less. It doesn’t seem to have occurred to them that what they’re sinking most of their money+ into sucks, and is so lukewarm and programmed that the audience has been running like it’s the Chicago fire. (Two words: Mariah Carey.)

One of my relatives is a pretty hip 13-year old girl who just a couple years ago couldn’t stop talking about popular music and bought all kinds of CDS, and now she never mentions it because everything’s so boring. (She only listens to Spanish music stations on the car radio now.) Instead of actually trying to find out what music might actually interest an audience today, the record industry has been trying to ram draconian anti-technology and anti-competitive legislation through Congress and taking even more steps to make musicians de facto work-for-hire employees. After decades of creative bookkeeping and screwing artists out of royalties, the music industry actually has the gall to claim they’re trying to look out for the artists’ interests when battling MP3s and wide dissemination of new recording technologies and crippling the applicability of their product.

Meanwhile, potential buyers are left to turn their attention and wallets to other things or scrounge to find interesting material that falls between the cracks of the music industry’s pigeonholing and demographic biases, while executives refuse to consider the possibility that the world is changing or they’re just wrong.

The Pain

I’ve had a couple of days with my trainer at my new gym, and every muscle in my body is killing me. The things I do just to fit into my old pants…

Mike, my trainer, is built like a Mack truck. He has biceps that look like Volkwagen Beetles. He caused a bit of a commotion when he loaded the leg press sled to the max (about two dozen 45-pound plates) and did his workout. On top of that, he’s also the guitarist and backup vocalist for a KISS tribute band! He probably looks more like the hyper-muscled Ace Frehley action figure than Ace himself ever did.

It’s never been called that before…

Some guy on the street, pointing at my accordion: Hey man, that’s a really cool…uh…xylophone…?

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“I say we nuke it from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure…”

Friends of my friend and former co-worker Justin Chapweske are unemployed and have a messy house. However, they hope to turn their lack of hygiene into good fortune in Apartmests.com’s Messiest Apartment Contest. They’re finalists, and they need your vote to win some prize money (US$10,000, which should help pay the rent) and a free visit from a cleaning service. Their apartment is pictured below — click on the photos to see larger versions and feel the horror…

If you check out the other two competitors, you’ll see that Justin’s friends are way ahead (although the UCLA apartment’s toilet has this horrible brown ring).

All of a sudden, I feel the urge to do some housekeeping. Or gouge out my eyes so I never have see such horror again.

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Mail bag

Updated 6:25 p.m. EST — read it again!

I’m just a Catholic accordion-playing boy trying to do his good deed for the day…

Meryl wrote to say that she thought this little thing I wrote last week was funny:

At one point in the article, Dr. Al-Jalahma states that during Purim “the Jews wear carnival-style masks and costumes and overindulge in drinking alcohol, prostitution, and adultery.”

That’s not Purim, you moron, that’s Mardi Gras!

Being an affable fella from the tropics gives me a hate-on for hate lit, and a Catholic upbringing and schooling to made me familiar with all the Christian holidays, especially those that involve boozing and loose women. Being Catholic has other bonuses, such as that guilty feeling that makes sinning that much more fun. And being allowed to eat cheeseburgers, rare steaks and mu shu pork. And the schoolgirls. Oh, the schoolgirls.

(Of course, if you’d like to go out with this wonderful accordion-playing guy, religion isn’t a major factor. I was even tempted one by this really cute Satanist in Kingston, but I figured that she’d end the date by turning me into a human sacrifice.)

Double yolkiness

On Monday, I wrote about “Super Bon-ee” double-yolk eggs, on whose carton was a guarantee that at least half the eggs would have two yolks. It looks as though I’m not going to call the “Super Bon-ee” folks demanding a free carton this time; out of a total eight eggs we’ve used so far, seven have had double yolks.

George Lewis wrote to me and confirmed my suspicion that you could test eggs for double yolks by examining them under a bright light. Here’s what he wrote about the time he worked at an egg farm in his early teens:

the place i worked was not technically current, a pretty small shop compared to standards i guess–but they had a “dark room” that was part of the process of taking eggs from chickens and sending them out in boxes. they came throuugh on little rollers after they were washed/cleaned, and in this dark room, lights underneath the rollers/eggs lit up the eggs, so bad eggs could be spotted, chips/cracks in the shell could be spotted, etc… this also makes clear the eggs with doulbe-yolks. the place it was at was pretty small time, so whoever had that job just picked out the double-yolkers by hand and set them aside, and they were packaged/crated later.

in bigger shops, i’d bet they do it strictly by weight, but not 100% sure on that. double-yolks kick ass.

They certainly do. Delicious, golden, creamy, cholosterol-laden-but-who-gives-a-crap ass. In honour of the wonder of double-yolkers, here’s the Chinese pictogram for “double happiness” in two golden circles.

I think I’ll listen to Egg Man by the Beastie Boys right now. Oh, yeah and the Beatles’ I Am The Walrus, too. Goo goo g’joob.

It’s time to pimp-slap Big Content and their stupid laws

If you haven’t heard yet, there are all kinds of terrible things being done in the name of copyright:

What can you do? My pal Cory e-mailed me a very good suggestion:

Join the EFF!

The Electronic Frontier Foundation are — to borrow a phrase from Babylon 5 — the last, best hope for freedom in the digital age. When the law (or the big corporate interests who thinks laws should be set up to suit them) and technology collide, the EFF is there fighting for freedom:

Support the EFF!

Legal Notice (update Friday March 22, 6:25 p.m. EST)

I just got this “Cease and Desist” order from George:

“Big Content” is copyright © 2002 george scriban. the unauthorized use of Mr scriban’s copyrighted material is prohibited under the DMCA, jackass.

regards,

george scriban

The judges rule that Tina wins

The divine Miss Tina, guitarist and vocalist for local glam-punk band Fresh Meat (who appeared at Indie Incubation) writes:

Dear Joey,

I’d like to draw your attention to the fact I won the bottle shoving contest [the one that took place at last week’s Kick Ass Karaoke — Joey]. And you can see here all the contestants are trying really hard, but only one is victorious.

Love, Love,

Miss Tina.

Like Tina and the Highlander say: “There can be only one!”

I’m quite certain that none of my friends — well, with the exception of Rob — would ever have ended up in a Norman Rockwell painting.

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Blogs: Background Checking on the Cheap

(This was written up in a recent edition of the Las Vegas Mercury.)

Here’s the scenario: a young woman meets a guy in a library. Their eyes meet, conversation ensues, leading up to a date that goes quite well. The next day, they — without planning it — run into each other at the library and make plans for another date. She’s full of anticipation.

So far, so good.

She decides, just for a lark, to enter his name into Google and finds his weblog. Thinking it might give her a better idea of what this guy she just met is like, she reads:

Thursday, 3:45pm: Met a sexy girl at the library. She sat across from me. The whole time, all I could think about was taking her in the stacks, just getting crazy dog-style sexy all up in that. All tantric and kama sutra up in the periodicals! Oh man. But I’m pretty inadequate sexually. Only been with five girls. Anyway, I ended up asking her out and we’re going out tonight.

Friday, 2:15am: Library girl and I went out and had a great time. I was hoping she’d give me a hand job, but she didn’t. I don’t think she’s a very good kisser, her tongue seemed really long to me. Not many women usually find me attractive so I’m kind of bummed about this tongue thing. I’d like to go to her house again and see if she’ll give me a hand job. Sorry to be obsessing over hand jobs, but I just tried mushrooms for the first time…I’m 25 and just starting to take drugs! Yipee!

Friday, 4:27pm: Saw library girl at the library. We’re going out tonight, though I’m gonna call her in about 10 minutes and suggest I just come over with a movie. I want to be a screenwriter and she wants to be a writer so maybe she’ll find this really romantic and she’ll give me a hand job.

Needless to say, that second date never took place.

However, the guy seeking a hand job probably got one later that weekend — it turns out that a woman he’d met through her online journal was flying in town for a weekend romp with him. This was documented in the guy’s weblog, of course.

The lesson here is so obvious that I won’t even bother stating it.

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Save Internet Radio from the "Bumbaclots", part 2

If you haven’t yet read part one, it’s here.

So what is happening to Internet radio, anyway?

I’ll let Doc Searls say it, because he’s already done it so eloquently:

Even if you don’t listen to Internet radio, chances are you’ve noticed that radio of the old-fashioned sort has been homogenized to death. If you haven’t stopped listening, you’ve probably stopped caring.

But in fact, Internet radio flat-out rocks. It’s what old-fashioned free-form FM was at its seminal best back inthe ’60s and ’70s, cubed. What’s more, it’s able to list and archive exactly what’s playing, which means it’s in a perfect position to cause sales of those tunes, and to share revenues with artists in a real market environment.

Which means Internet radio is in a perfect position to threaten the vast entertainment production and distribution system that considers its products “content” and its customers “consumers.” These producers haven’t just been trying to use Congress as an instrument for turning the Net into yet another set of pipes in their world wide plumbing system. They’ve been succeeding. The DMCA was just one step. How long before we have to pay to put up a link or a quote? Don’t laugh. That’s pretty much what the DMCA does to Internet radio.

What’s the DMCA?

The “DMCA” that Doc’s referring to the Digital Millennium Copyright Act. It’s a U.S. law that came into effect in October 2000 that is meant to update copyright law to address new technologies (hance the name “Digital Millennium”). I haven’t got the time to go over the DMCA in detail right now; please check out this layperson-friendly summary, or if you’ve got some kind of a legal background, you might want to read the DMCA in its full legalese glory.

As far as Internet radio is concerned, the problem with the DMCA is that it gives copyright holders — in most cases, these are record companies — the right to collect a perfromance royalty when the songs they own were played via digital media. This royalty are meant to help compensate for the risk to CD sales that the they are taking by broadcasting digital and therefore easily reproduced copies.

(Remember, in most cases, recording artists for major labels don’t own the rights to their own songs. The record companies do. I covered that topic in this posting.)

Paying the record companies for Internet broadcast is quite different from the way radio-play royalties work: whenever an AM or FM radio station plays a song, they pay the composer through fees handed to organziations like ASCAP or BMI (here in Canada, we have SOCAN). In broadcast radio, you don’t pay the artist or the record company; the reasoning is that the exposure gained through airplay is of commensurate value. On broadcast radio, Bob Dylan gets paid every time All Along the Watchtower is played, whether it’s his version, or Jimi Hendrix’s version. On Internet radio, Dylan would get paid for his version (Dylan actually owns the rights to his own song — very rare theses days) while Dwarf Music (the publisher for the Hendrix version) would collect every time Jimi’s version was played.

The DMCA stated that the U.S. Copyright office would be given the task of figuring out what an appropriate royalty for playing a song on Internet radio would be. The royalty fees would be retroactive back to the day the DMCA was passed, some time back in October 1998. The Copyright Office first let the record companies (represented by the RIAA — the Recording Industry Association of America) and Internet broadcasters (represented by a few groups, including DiMA — the Digital Media Association) try and come to an agreement on what that royalty should be.

The short story is that the negotiations failed because the RIAA and the record companies they represent are greedy soulless devil-spawn. The slightly more detailed story follows.

Payback for playback

In coming up for what they thought was an appropriate royalty for Internet playback, the webcasters decided to base it on an analogous, well-established industry: broadcast radio. They did the math, and it looked something like this:

  • U.S. radio stations pay over US$300 million per year to composers of the music that they play.
  • Using industry data on radio listenership, they figured that this translates into 0.22¢ for each “music radio listener hour”. This would be the starting point for the royalty rate. (A music radio listener hour is what you get when one person listens to the radio for an hour; 100 people listening to the same radio show for an hour translates into 100 music radio listener hours.)
  • They also figured that the copyright holders — most often the record companies — already derive promotional benefit from having their songs played on the radio. Simply put, airplay is free advertising for albums. That’s why broadcast radio pays composers (who don’t necessarily get promoted when their songs are played — after all, you know Britney sings Baby One More Time, but do you know who composed it?) and not copyright holders. The end result is that they decided that the copyright holders shouldn’t get royalties equal to those paid to composers, but a discounted portion. They calculated that a 30% discount was appropriate, resulting in a royalty of 0.15¢ for each music radio listener hour.
  • In coming up with this discounted figure, the webcasters kept in mind that Internet radio has some promotional advantages over broadcast radio:
    • Internet radio software can display the name, artist and album name of the currently playing radio track.
    • Many Internet radio programs display web pages, which can be used to promote the currently playing track and display a “buy this album” button

In response, the RIAA did what it usually does in the face of a fair proposal and overwhelming logic: it ignored it and came up with its own, fear-and-greed based proposal. They wanted .4¢ for every song played for every listener. The justify this exorbitant rate — approximately 30 times the webcasters’ proposed rate, and still way more than composers get paid by broadcast radio — by claiming that it’s based on prior contracts with webcasters and music listeners.

Since the two groups could not come to an agreement, the Copyright office created CARP — the Copyright Arbitration Royalty Panel — to make the decision. From July to September last year, CARP listened to the testimony of witnesses representing both webcasters and the RIAA sleazebags and their comrades-in-carbetbagging, the record companies. The compromise they came up with is as follows:

  • An Internet-only broadcaster would have to pay a royalty of 0.14¢ for every song played for every listener.
  • A commercial broadcast radio station that was also simulcasting on the Internet would have to pay a royalty of 0.07¢ for every song played for every Internet broadcast listener.
  • A non-commercial broadcast radio station that was also simulcasting on the Internet would have to pay a royalty of 0.02¢ for every song played for every Internet broadcast listener.

Under this arrangement, Internet-only broadcasters get screwed royally. Most Internet broadcasters don’t make any money; they’re simply people with a lot of bandwidth, sharing the music they love. Not only does the CARP-proposed royalty make it unaffordable for them to continue broadcasting; it’s retroactive, so any broadcasting they’ve done for the past three years will have already cost them! SaveInternetRadio.org calculates that an Internet radio station that’s been broadcasting for the past three years to an average listenership of 1000 people would owe over half a million dollars in royalties.

These royalty fees will kill Internet radio, or make it so that only major players with multi-million-dollar bank accounts will be able to broadcast over the Internet. Consider these two key differences between broadcast and Internet radio:

  • Commerical broadcast radio is supported by advertising. In many cases, it’s supported by the nationwide marketing and advertising department of a large media conglomerate like Clear Channel. Internet radio is often a couple of people in a basement with a decent outgoing Internet connection. Its costs are covered by listener donations or paid for out-of-pocket by the webcaster. Few of them run ads.
  • In broadcast radio, once you’ve paid for a transmitter, your costs are the same if you have one listener or one million listeners. In Internet radio, every byte of music you pump out costs you money. More listeners means more bytes sent, which means more money spent.

Killing Internet radio is probably what the RIAA and their fellow swine, the record companies, want. With only the major broadcasters providing Internet webcasts, they can treat Internet radio exactly like broadcast radio, which they control through influence and payola. They would also be free to offer subscription-based radio services, where you’d pay to listen to their broadcasts, where you’d hear the music they’d like you to buy. You wouldn’t have anywhere else to go because all the smaller players would’ve been royalty-feed out of existence.

What you can do

Well, you always have the option of doing nothing. Of course, that’ll ensure that the RIAA get their own selfish way, and the music universe would be the worse for it.

Try doing these: