The Adventures of Accordion Guy in the 21st Century

Talk about burying the lede, man.

I’ll give you the bullet points, but you should really read the article and watch the video in it to get the full story:

• A house in Northdale — the next neighborhood north of mine — caught on fire last night. Firefighters responded, but were challenged by explosions caused by the flamethrowers and live ammo that were stored in the burning house. (And yes, in America, it is a Perfectly Sensible Thing to have a stockpile of flamethrowers and ammo, because freedom.)
• The burning house is owned by Pat O’Brien, lead guitarist of a death metal band whose work I’m actually familiar with: Cannibal Corpse!
• O’Brien was not in his well-stocked-with-flamethrowers-and-ammo house because he was too busy forcing his way into someone else’s house nearby. There were two people in the house at the time, and O’Brien shoved one of them to the ground and ran into their back yard.
• Sheriff’s deputies arrived, and when they told O’Brien to stand down, he did the most “metal” thing possible and charged at the deputy with a knife in hand. One of the deputies took O’Brien down with an “electronic control device” (I assume it’s a taser, but maybe they make remote controls for death metal guitarists).

This week’s clearance item is Sweet Sue Chicken and Dumplings, which takes a beloved and tasty southern U.S. dish and tries to capture it in a can. I didn’t buy it, but Larry Wolfe of The Wolfe Pit did, and posted a review on YouTube: