Cracked put out an excellent video titled If People Who Sell Stuff Were Honest About Black Friday. Sorry about not posting this before Black Friday; I’d only found out about it this morning:
…and you know a topic has made the big time when it’s worthy of hacks!
C’mon, Florida — we’re slipping! How does the land of Florida Man/Woman not end up in the top ten?
This map comes from Estately, who took two data sets:
- The number of Facebook users in each state expressing interest in Black Friday sales, which was likely done by searching for specific words and phrases, and
- frequency of aggravated assaults in each state,
and ranked each state in both categories. They then averaged the two rankings and used that average rank to create a list of US states ranked for likelihood of Black Friday brawlin’. Given their loosey-goosey statistics methodology, you should take this list with an appropriately-sized grain of salt, but I’ll bet you still want to know, so here’s the top ten list:
- Arkansas
- Tennessee
- Alabama
- Louisiana
- Missouri
- West Virginia
- Oklahoma
- Indiana
- Kansas
- South Carolina
Want to see the full list? Head on over to Estately’s story.
Alternate titles:
- The initiation rituals for the Avengers are getting a little weird
- I didn’t know Captain America was into that
- Something something symbolic something something big government
- The Superhuman Centipede
- Actually, it’s a couple of deflated balloons from the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade
If you really, really, really have to go shopping immediately after Thanksgiving dinner, here’s a list of the places that are open as early as Thanksgiving Thursday afternoon as well as Black Friday. Just be careful and sensible if you go!
Best Buy
Thanksgiving: Opens 5 p.m. and closes 1 a.m. Friday
Black Friday: Opens 8 a.m.
Dick’s Sporting Goods
Thanksgiving: Opens 6 p.m. and closes 2 a.m. Friday
Black Friday: Opens 5 a.m.
Ellenton Premium Outlets
Thanksgiving: Opens 6 p.m. and closes 12 a.m. Friday
Black Friday: Opens 12 a.m.
Gulf View Square Mall
Thanksgiving: Opens 6 p.m. and closes 1 a.m. Friday
Black Friday: Opens 6 a.m.
H. H. Gregg
Thanksgiving: Opens 4 p.m. and closes 12 a.m. Friday
Black Friday: Opens 7 a.m.
JC Penney
Thanksgiving: Opens 3 p.m. and stays open all night into Black Friday.
Kmart
Thanksgiving: Opens 7 p.m. and stays open all night into Black Friday.
Kohl’s
Thanksgiving: Opens 6 p.m. and stays open all night into Black Friday.
Lakeland Square Mall
Thanksgiving: Opens 6 p.m. and closes 12 a.m. Friday
Black Friday: Opens 9 a.m.
Macy’s
Thanksgiving: Opens 6 p.m. and stays open all night into Black Friday.
Michaels
Thanksgiving: Opens 4 p.m. and closes 2 a.m. Friday
Black Friday: Opens 7 a.m.
Radio Shack
Thanksgiving: Opens 8 a.m. to 1 p.m.
Black Friday: Opens 8 a.m.
Sears
Thanksgiving: Opens 6 p.m. and closes 2 a.m. Friday
Black Friday: Opens 5 a.m.
Sports Authority
Thanksgiving: Opens 6 p.m. and closes 12 a.m. Friday
Black Friday: Opens 6 a.m.
Tampa Premium Outlets
Thanksgiving: Opens 6 p.m. and closes 12 a.m. Friday
Black Friday: Opens 12 a.m.
Target
Thanksgiving: Opens 6 p.m. and stays open all night into Black Friday.
Toys ‘R’ Us
Thanksgiving: Opens 5 p.m. and stays open all night into Black Friday.
Tyrone Square Mall
Thanksgiving: Opens 6 p.m. and closes 1 a.m. Friday
Black Friday: Opens 6 a.m.
University Town Center
Thanksgiving: Opens 6 p.m. and closes 12 a.m. Friday
Black Friday: Opens 8 a.m.
Walmart
Thanksgiving: Deals start at 6 p.m.
Westshore Plaza
Thanksgiving: Opens 6 p.m. and closes 1 a.m. Friday
Black Friday: Opens 6 a.m.
Categories
Seems legit.
Click the photo to see it at full size.
I’m sure the Disney lawyers are already on this case.
