The Adventures of Accordion Guy in the 21st Century

Let other people remember Michel Demitri Chaloub — better known as Omar Sharif — for his roles in Lawrence of Arabia, Doctor Zhivago, and Funny Girl, or for being a top-ranked bridge player:

That’s right, he even had bridge-playing software named after him!

I’ll remember him for him as Agent Cedric, the hapless secret agent in the Elvis movies-meets-spy films parody Top Secret!

For more about how Omar Sharif ended up in a comedy made by the same people who made Airplane!, check out this Entertainment Weekly article, where he’s fondly remembered by David Zucker.

Requiescat in pace, Mr. Sharif.

Pictured below: evidence of two fashion crimes and one real one:

Found via @RedditCFB. Click the photo to see the source.

Yesterday, while fetching the dead trees from our snail-mailbox, I noticed that the little label inside had been updated:

What a lovely gift for our fourth monthaversary! Thank you, US Postal Service or our homeowner’s association (I figure it had to be one of them)!

The happy couple, on their honeymoon at Walt Disney World.

Thanks to Alex Downie and Jill Nurse for the find!

The photo from the Craigslist article. Click it to see the source.

If you’ve got $25,000 burning a hole in your pocket — maybe less if you negotiate — you might want to head up to Spring Hill to get this one-of-a-kind motorbike. It’s featured in a Tampa Bay Craigslist ad, which has this text (and yup, the all caps is theirs):

THIS ONE OF A KIND REPLICA F-16 FIGHTER MOTORCYCLE HAS A 650 SUZUKI BURGMAN MOTOR. RUNS EXCELLENT
VERY UNIQUE
CALL, NO TEXT, THIS IS A LAND LINE

Want this ride? Go visit the Craigslist ad and give its owner a call!

Update

Shane Parsons pointed out that the fighter bike is reminiscent of the “Lean Machine”, an early eighties GM concept vehicle.

Thanks to Mondo Lulu for the find!

Click the photo to see it at full size.

Those numbers are in Herr Fahrenheit’s antiquated system, but even so, that 5 p.m. temperature forecast’s a little high.

He’s no fruit ninja

As a YouTube watcher, you can already sense the impending FAIL, but as far as “Ali” was concerned, there were no possible bad outcomes when he placed a watermelon on a glass patio table and attempted to cleave it in twain with a scimitar:

To add insult to patio table injury, the watermelon came out of the experience intact.

There ain’t nose party like a sausage party

Ali’s loss is minor compared to Ethan Schneider’s. He and a buddy were trying to impress friends at a party with a trick where he’d hold a kielbasa in his mouth while his buddy sliced it with a katana. You already know where this is going…

Here’s what TMZ reports about the aftermath:

4 hours of surgery and a slew of stitches later, Ethan got his sniffer back. He can smell but has no feeling  … and doctors aren’t sure if it will ever come back.

That’s called a good result.

If you’re the morbidly curious type, feel free to mosey on down to TMZ’s story, where you can see the pre-surgery pictures (after clicking on a “Warning! Graphic photos!” link first). You might not want to do this if you’re eating or easily nauseated.

Recommended viewing

Back in 2013, YouTube video personality Ryan Higa tried a real-life version of Fruit Ninja, but apparently forgot that unlike the game, everything in the real world comes with mass and Newton’s Third Law built-in:

A key difference between Ryan Higa’s video and the first two in this article is that Higa shot his video properly. The others fell victim to Vertical Video Syndrome, a common problem with videos shot using phones: