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Assless chaps photo of the day

assless chaps amazement

Originally posted on my Ello account. Click to see it on Ello.

Her facial expression is priceless. It could say:

  • “Wow, I’ve wasted my life living up to others’ expectations.”
  • “I’m not sure these new Dallas Cowboys uniforms are all that practical.”
  • “Now I know how Microsoft felt after hiring Joey deVilla.”
  • “I knew I should’nt have left mine at home!”
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Your science inspiration of the day

Boop!

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Rejected wedding theme #5: Sleep deprivation

sleep deprivation wedding

I know that it’s difficult to get decent sleep the night before your wedding, but I’m going to try in order not to recreate this scene.

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Truth is out of style

tom cotton - dishonesty is the new best policy

What do you do when you campaign on a lie and it gets exposed on a fact-check, but the lie turns out to sell well? If you’re pond scum or Arkansas Rep. Tom Cotton (R), you double down on that lie:

In Arkansas last week, Rep. Tom Cotton (R), his party’s U.S. Senate nominee, was caught in one of the most brazen lies of the 2014 campaign season. The right-wing congressman claimed he voted against this year’s Farm Bill because President Obama “hijacked” it, “turned it into a food-stamp bill,” and added “billions more in spending.”

As a factual matter, literally none of this is even remotely true, and fact-checkers came down hard on such shameless dishonesty – all of which might matter if Cotton gave a darn. But as Peter Urbanreported yesterday, the congressman just doesn’t care about getting caught.

Rejecting criticism of its latest TV ad, Republican Senate hopeful Tom Cotton plans to keep running the “Farm Bill” message beyond its current ad buy.

“We’ve gotten such great feedback from farmers, taxpayers, and supporters that we’re actually going to increase the size of the ad buy,” said David Ray, a spokesman for the Cotton campaign.

For more, see:

I think I’d better just close with this classic alt-rock piece by MC 900 FT Jesus, Truth is Out of Style:

Thanks to Michelle Gimore Day for the find!

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Wait…they’re called BRITISH muffins now?

british muffins

Last time I checked, they were called English muffins on this side of the pond (in England, they’re just called “muffins”; and they call our muffins “American muffins”).

I took the photo above this morning at Trader Joe’s, who insist on calling them British muffins. Someday, we may tell unproven stories that “British muffins” unintentionally led to the recent Scottish referendum in the same way that the Great Wall of China Hoax perpetrated by four bored journos in Denver unintentionally led to the Boxer Rebellion.

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Salmagundi: Doug Ford’s debate circus, the suit-shaped onesie, Abbey Road today, Diet Racism, and everyone is lonely

Sleazy drug-taking Toronto mayor’s even sleazier (alleged) drug-dealing brother participates in debate; circus ensues

doug ford - new monkey same circus

Doug Ford’s first mayoral debate had it all, says the title of the Vice article, racism, homophobia and police intervention. The Ford brothers’ die-hard fans yelled at candidate Olivia Chow to go “back to China”, rooted for them because they’d never go to the Pride parade (one of the biggest, most money-making events in Toronto), and the worst of the lot had to be hauled away by the police. One of most rich moments, in so many senses of the word, was when Ford (a multi-millionaire thanks to the family business started by his politician dad) said that his opponent John Tory had everything handed to him on a silver platter.

The one-piece men’s suit that you put on like kids’ pajamas

suitsy

Apparently, the combination of dress shirt, dress pants, and a jacket is so uncomfortable and time-consuming to put on that Jesse Herzog decided to solve the problem by creating the Suitsy, a “onesie” that looks like a suit. Here’s Herzog demoing the suitsy:

Here’s Herzog demoing the Suitsy:

“Imagine looking professional but feeling like you are in pajamas,” he says, to which GQ and I reply “imagine yourself not being lazy and buying a proper tailored suit instead”.

coveralls

There may still be an interesting and non-ridiculous use case for the Suitsy: as dressier coveralls for mechanics, industrial workers, and other people who do dirty jobs but still want to look sharp.

See the crosswalk that the Beatles ruined, live!

You know the album cover:

beatles - abbey road cover

Here’s what the crosswalk where the photo was taken looks like these days:

abbey road crosswalk

Apparently, traffic is often slowed down there thanks to legions of tourists and Beatles fans who insist on recreating the album cover for a personal photo. The best thing is that you can watch the hijinks live and from the comfort of your own computer, tablet, or smartphone thanks to the webcam that Abbey Road Studios (where the Beatles recorded that album) set up.

For those of you who wonder why there isn’t a “White History Month”…

…there’s a new soft drink for you, and it’s called Diet Racism. All the sweet ignorance of the real thing, but none of the guilt.

Everyone is Lonely

The folks at ADHD (that’s Animation Domination High-Def) often go for the funny with shock humor — Scientifically Accurate Spider-Man and Scientifically Accurate DuckTales are great examples — but they take a different tack with Everyone is Lonely, a sweet cartoon which does a great job explaining why it’s nice to be nice.

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Stunning realization of the day

1998 is as close as 2030

“1998? But that just happened!