- Not really a governor, but an authoritarian performance artist for an audience of one (who “fucking hates” him)
- Not really smart, but has that canny cleverness of a squirrel at an amusement park enticing visitors to feed him
- Has the next best thing to a personality: a set of responses to specific stimuli
- Less worried about public health because there are underfed kids to starve and transgender kids to stop from playing sports
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