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America The Current Situation

A quick First Amendment refresher course

Since the issue of the First Amendment to the Constitution to the United States of America is going to be a hot topic in light of Donald Trump getting ban-hammered by Twitter, then a lot of social media sites and even Shopify, I thought I’d share this quick little guide to how it works:

Thanks to Stephen Clark for the find!

In case you were wondering, here’s the full text of the First Amendment:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

If you need a longer lesson that doesn’t read like a boring civics text, there’s always this classic from the webcomic XKCD:

Comic: xkcd’s “Free Speech”. “Public Service Announcement: The right to free speech means the government can}t arrest you for what you say. It doesn’t mean that anyone else has to listen to your bullshit or host you while you share it. The 1st amendment doesn’t shield you from criticism or consequences. If you’re yelled at, boycotted, have your show cancelled, or get banned from an internet community, your free speech rights aren’t being violated. It’s just that the people listening think you’re an asshole, and they’re showing you the door.”
Tap the comic to see the source.
Categories
America The Current Situation

Headline of the day

Tap to view at full size.

You just know that they wanted to go with “shithole country” rather than “banana republic”.

Categories
America The Current Situation

Pictures aplenty for the crazy first week of 2021


Georgia senate candidate David Purdue’s TV spot included this odd bit.














It turns out that


he’s from Florida.














“Work brings freedom” is the English translation of “Arbeit macht frei”, which was the slogan posted at several Nazi concentration camps, including Auschwitz.
“Very fine people,” these Proud Boys. “6MWE” is short for “6 million wasn’t enough.”


























Lindsey Graham in 2016.
Lindsey Graham in 2021.





















Categories
America The Current Situation

We now live in a campy “Star Trek” episode

When I saw this picture of a fur-and-horns-clad Trump-inspired right-wing rioter who’d broken into the Capitol today…

…I was reminded of The Omega Glory, a particularly campy installment of the original Star Trek series. Here’s a scene from that episode:

Here’s a summary of that episode from Women at Warp:

The Enterprise discovers the USS Exeter in orbit around Omega IV. The crew is revealed to have died except for the captain, who remains on the planet. Kirk, Spock, McCoy, and Unlucky Red Shirt #12 beam down to the planet and find Prime Directive-violating Captain Ronald Tracey. He has made friends with the “Kohms,” an “Asiatic” group in conflict with the savage Aryan “Yangs.” Tracey believe he has found a “Fountain of Youth” with the planet’s population, but it turns out it’s just evolution/natural selection following a devastating war with biological weapons. It turns out that his crew would have lived if they had stayed on the planet a bit longer. Kirk and Co. eventually discover that the Yangs and Kohms are parallels to the “Yankees” and “Communists” of the 20th Century Earth. The Yangs, after a decisive victory over the Kohms, celebrate by bringing out a tattered U.S. flag, pulling out a Bible, and reciting the Pledge of Allegiance to the American flag.

Cue record scratch noise.

After a few random fights scenes between Kirk and Tracey, Kirk soon triumphs, Tracey is arrested, and the Yang chief pulls out a copy of the U.S. Constitution. Jim next gives a classic Kirkian speech about the power of words, the Constitution, and the good ol’ US of A in general, and the Starfleet crew leave those freedom-loving Yangs to begin living out the words of that foundational American document. The camera slow pans to the Star Spangled Banner hanging in the corner and credits roll.

The Yangs were about to kill the Enterprise landing party until they overhear Kirk mention one of their “worship words”: Freedom. A dialogue ensues, and Captain Kirk, Spock, and McCoy discover that the Yangs — who are really just a bunch of angry, violent white people who engage in cultural appropriation and symbol idolatry — simultaneously worshipped the U.S. Constitution and did not know what its words meant.

In the episode, the Yangs believed that only “chiefs and sons of chiefs” could speak the “holy words”:

YANG CHIEF: Chiefs and sons of chiefs may speak the words, but the Evil One’s tongue would surely turn to fire. I will begin. You shall finish. Ee’d plebnista norkohn forkohn perfectunun.

KIRK: Those words are familiar. Wait a moment.

The Yangs, in their worship of the document, had turned “We the people” into the gibberish “Ee’d plebnista”, a bunch of nonsense syllables that they spoke out of rote, without any sense of their meaning.

In the end, Kirk recognizes the words that the Yangs have mangled, and gives one of those speeches:

YANG CHIEF: When you would not say the holy words, of the Ee’d Plebnista, I doubted you.
KIRK: I did not recognise those words, you said them so badly, Without meaning.
YANG ELDER: No! No! Only the eyes of a chief may see the Ee’d Plebnista.
KIRK: This was not written for chiefs. (general consternation) Hear me! Hear this! Among my people, we carry many such words as this from many lands, many worlds. Many are equally good and are as well respected, but wherever we have gone, no words have said this thing of importance in quite this way. Look at these three words written larger than the rest, with a special pride never written before or since. Tall words proudly saying We the People. That which you call Ee’d Plebnista was not written for the chiefs or the kings or the warriors or the rich and powerful, but for all the people! Down the centuries, you have slurred the meaning of the words: “We, the people of the United States, in order to form a more perfect union, establish justice, ensure domestic tranquillity, provide for the common defence, promote the general welfare, and secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity, do ordain and establish this constitution.” These words and the words that follow were not written only for the Yangs, but for the Kohms as well!

As a geek and sci-fi aficionado, I had always considered this episode one of the worse entries in the Star Trek oeuvre, and most certainly one of the least realistic.

Today’s news proved me wrong.

Categories
funny

Drugstore find of the day

Tap to view at full size…but only if you really need to.

Someone in my neighborhood Facebook group posted this photo that she took at the local CVS.

I know that whoever designed this was going for a “pink frosted donut” look, but like the photographer, that’s not what I see.

(The “A Hole” in “I Love You A Hole Lot”, as well as its capitalization and placement on its own line, doesn’t help.)

Categories
Florida funny Geek

In Florida, this is “business casual”…

Thanks to Mike Tancsa for the find!

…especially if you swap out the boots for flip-flops and stick a Salt Life sticker on the vehicle.

Categories
It Happened to Me Slice of Life Work

New year, new office

The home office, a work in progress. Tap to view at full size.

I’m a remote employee at Auth0, and as such, I fell under their home office expense and reimbursement policy. It was the perfect opportunity to upgrade to a standing desk and ergonomic chair, which I bought as a package from Autonomous during their Black Friday sale.

The desk and chair were delivered in early December, but I decided to wait until the holidays to put them together as part of my project to turn our guest room into my office (which can still double as a guest room when the need arises).

My only complaint about the Autonomous MyoChair is that it comes with bog-standard plastic office chair casters, which would turn the lovely hardwood floor into a scratched-up mess. Luckily, we live in an age of wonders, which includes these wheels and the ability to have them shipped to me in very short order:

Okay, so it’s not a iPhone box, but it’s still a lot nicer than the sealed bag of plastic replacement wheels you normally get. Tap to view at full size.

I’ve enjoyed a chair with Office Oasis rollerblade wheels before, and they’re worth the little bit extra. They won’t ruin hardwood or laminate floors or leave black scuff marks like some rubber wheels do. They glide over floor or carpet, and they look pretty sharp. They’re so good, they almost make rollerblading seem cool.

Even the way they’re packaged is nice. Tap to view at full size.

Next task: Find something to put up on those walls.